First Tier: Self

Boom

Know yourself. Accept yourself. Like yourself.

 

Improving your sense of self will be doing a lot of exercises, learning tools, and practicing in real life (sorry). The good news is that you don’t have to wait for some imaginary finish line. Each week you’ll feel better and stronger. It’s slow. It’s gradual. But it absolutely works! And then one day, it’s just natural and part of you.

  1. Mantras

  2. Listen & Talk (to yourself)

  3. 3 Things for 6 Months

  4. Key Character Strengths

  5. Imagination & Creativity

  6. Learn

  7. Small Stuff

  8. The Whole Cake

Mantras: A great tool to use

Mantras are weird at first because you’re telling yourself things you probably don’t yet believe. But it’s a scientific fact that your brain is not only super impressionable but its thought patterns can be changed. That’s one reason why mantras work. Now, there is work that partners with mantras, and it’s a bit more tricky and definitely harder. But even if you don’t take that extra step, mantras will help you. I promise.

Listen & Talk (to yourself)

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3 things for 6 months

Every night (or next morning) write down 3 things that went well that day and why. Do this for 6 months. That’s it.

This tool is great if you tend to be hard on yourself, have high expectations of yourself, and skew towards perfectionism.

The why is important. The why is how you start to build an understanding of your strengths - ones you already have and ones you’re developing. This exercise also trains your brain to recognize that things did go well, which is especially helpful when you’re dealing with depression or anxiety. Actually, all humans naturally tend to focus on the negative, and this simple and enjoyable exercise forces you to do the opposite. And it only takes a few minutes!

I learned this from watching a presentation by Dr. Martin Seligman, president of the American Psychological Association (1998) and developer of the PERMA model (2012). Go to minute 9:30 on the video below.

Key Character Strengths

Character strengths are the parts of your personality that make you feel authentic and engaged. 

Identifying your top character strengths and using them more in your daily life can help:

  • Boost confidence 

  • Increase happiness 

  • Strengthen relationships 

  • Manage problems 

  • Reduce stress

Take the free survey offered by the VIA Institute on Character to identify your strengths. 

Then get a piece of paper, write your top 4-5 character strengths, and identify ways you already use them and new ideas come for how to use them, and bonus points if you track this over time as this will help you build the habit into your overall lifestyle. 

I first learned of character strengths through the course “The Science of Well-Being” developed at Yale college and now offered for free through Coursera. This course is great for learning about overall well-being especially if you enjoy learning through professor lectures, data points, and research, within the overall context of psychology. 

Imagination & Creativity

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Learning / Using Your Mind

 

Small Stuff

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The Whole Cake

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